I hope you had good holidays and that this new year finds you in health and happiness. I've thought much about you lately, and have some concerns. I'm worried about your current situation with your mother.

As you probably realize, being a parent carries many responsibilities, including loving, caring, and sacrificing for a child. The most important goal for a parent is to raise happy and independent children. There comes a time, if a parent has been successful in raising a child, that the child is ready to leave the nest, and go off into the world on his own. Normally this occurs when the child is about 18 years old or has completed high school. Children usually go away for college, or start working and get an apartment of their own or move in with friends. The bond between parent still exists, but the child becomes an adult and starts making her own decisions, and becomes financially and emotionally independent of the parent.

In my case, when I graduated from high school at 18, I worked one summer and then I went to BYU for college. By the time I was 16, I had my own car, and was rarely at home, because I preferred to hang out with my friends. I grew up in California. BYU is in Utah, so I was nearly 800 miles away from my parents. I developed new friends, worked hard at school, and was self sufficient.

Brieanna, I have no idea of how you've been raised these last 10 years, but I have some fears. I'm worried that you've been raised in a way that would ensure your dependency upon your mother. I'm worried that you are still living with her, and are not in college, or working. I worry that she has manufactured a situation, in which you feel bound to her. I hope that this is not the case. I hope that she has raised you to be independent and is encouraging you to go off on your own, and become your own person.

If you are still living with your mother, I pray that you listen to my fatherly advice, and do all in your power to break away and start your own life. The way you do this is simple. You need to find work; any sort of work. Waiting tables is an excellent way to make good money, and it will free your days so that you can attend school. Then find an apartment with roommates, so that your rent is low. Even if you only make minimum wage, you can support yourself and have your own life. Getting your own car should be a priority. Having a car is critical to your independence. Within a few months of working you should be able to afford a down payment on a reliable inexpensive car. By looking in your local newspaper you should be able to find all of these things, such as the job, apartment and car.

Some people try to escape controlling parents through marriage. I hope that you don't make this mistake. Put off marriage for as long as possible, because it will greatly complicate your life. Marriage should be put off until you know who you are, and until you are a truly independent adult. Children should only be brought into a stable environment.

I have one last fear that I'd like to discuss with you. There is a psychological disease that some mother's have called Munchausen by Proxy. You should look it up on Google. Here's a link to a good description of it:

This is a disease where a mother purposely creates or fakes symptoms of illness in her child to get attention, and the sense of satisfaction in deceiving medical doctors. These women see their children as objects or props. These mother's pretend to be concerned parents so that they can get attention and comfort from doctors. They often are well versed in medicine, and know how the medical system works. By keeping their children sick, it allows them to have greater control over their children, and keep them in a controlled dependent state.

I don't know if this applies to you Brieanna, but because of some of the things that I have seen over the years, I greatly fear that you have been a victim of this both medically and psychologically. I worry that your health, your independence, your happiness, and perhaps your very life are in jeopardy. As children, we are born into situations and families that we accept as normal, and so it's almost impossible for us to know if what we experience as children is good or harmful.

I hope that none of this applies to you; that you are healthy, and are a mature independent individual, and that you and your mother have a healthy relationship. I write these things based on passed experiences and events that I've experience with your mother. I write this out of love, and concern for you.

If you are still living with your mother, I pray that you will take the courage necessary to break away from her, and start your own independent life. You have family here that can help you. You have me, uncles and aunts that love you, as well as grandparents that will help you if you only ask. You can call us any time, and we will help you.